Principles of Matching

By Jim and Hiromi Stephens
Copyright December, 2015

Parents Portion of Responsibility

In God’s original plan for Adam and Eve, they would have grown to full maturity, which means oneness with God. They would then fulfill the mission of making oneness with each other, becoming the eternal True Parents of mankind. It would therefore seem that God would easily have been able to guide them in how to match their children.

Creating the image of God as a couple.

The Portion of Responsibility for Adam and Eve would first involve growing in their ability to represent God’s love until God granted them permission to marry. Only God had the authority to give them the Blessing on their marriage. Only God had the authority to grant them the privilege to begin sexual relations. Sexual relations with God’s permission would create His blood lineage and then His blessings could flow to the sons and daughters.

Adam and Eve’s Portion of Responsibility after God’s Blessing in marriage involved creating oneness within their couple. Their oneness was the “womb” that created the energy for producing their children and God’s grandchildren.

Naturally as the children grew, Adam and Eve would have deep insights into the nature and character of each child. They would connect to God’s vision for the life of that child. Adam and Eve together in harmony and unity would match their children as the direct representatives of God.

From the moment a couple learns the wife is pregnant, and certainly after the child is born, there are many times when they think about the future spouse for their child and his/her ultimate and eternal happiness. This is totally in line with the Principle.

Modeling a true relationship for future marriages

Certainly God must think about each child in that way. Parents want their children to fully mature and are looking forward to the day they can give the blessing, God’s Blessing, on their marriage. Parents are committed forever to the happiness of their children.

So Parents’ Portion of Responsibility involves creating the Principled subject and object relationship centered on God as husband and wife. Parents are the role models and their relationship is the foundation for the children’s future relationships to their spouses.

If Adam and Eve had fulfilled as True Parents, then when their children reached matching age, what would they do? Being fully connected to God, the parents would, we believe, recognize that the child has reached the level of maturity that is necessary to enter into marriage. At that point the parents need to meet with their child and clearly explain that the child has successfully matured.

How do children know when they are ready?

Every child has the right to hear it from his/her parents and it is the duty of the parents to tell their children, “We know you and we believe in you. You are mature. You are loving. You are trustworthy. You can keep a promise. You are ready to go to the next level. We are ready to give you our blessing.”

How do young people know when they are ready for matching if they don’t hear it from any representative of God? Parents must believe in them and pass on that belief in them so they can come to believe in themselves. When the child can also believe, he or she must exercise their own Portion of Responsibility and accept to enter the matching process.

Parents take subject role in searching

The parents take the subject responsibility of doing all the searching process to find a candidate for matching. They could receive suggestions and recommendations from all available sources, including the children themselves, their siblings, or friends, other connections, even Internet websites.

Please note that the parents are in the subject position in relation to the children. This surely makes sense in the original plan of God because they are much better connected to Him. Within the parents, the father is in the subject role. This is not a dictatorial position. Love makes the subject and object of equal value, even equal responsibility, but there is a difference in position.

The parents would lead the process of searching for a candidate. Once one is identified, then the parents would be the ones contacting the other family or some designated intermediate.

Parents lay the foundation for the interaction

They would meet the family. They would possibly even interview the candidate before he/she ever meets their child. Inspirations would be coming to the parents from God in how to guide the process and proceed at each step of the way.

If God is fully working through both sets of parents, there is nothing to be afraid of. Parents would feel God’s love. Children would feel God’s love and protection. Even candidates being interviewed would feel God’s love and not nervousness.

Parents share their conclusions

Once the parents are fully confirmed in their belief that God would bless this matching, then they need to convey that message and fully disclose their thinking and inspirations to their child. After that, the Portion of Responsibility of the child begins.

The matching candidate’s Portion of Responsibility